• Every FOUR seconds a woman is battered in the United States.
   
• 90% of battered victims are women.
   
• Family violence is thought to be the most under-reported crime in the nation.
   
• The majority of batterers are men, but not all men are batterers.
   
• A very high percent of young boys become abusers themselves, as high as 85%. Get help for them, so they do not repeat the actions they see and hear of domestic violence in the home.
   
• There were, and are, so many children abused and involved in the domestic violence cycle. They were, and are, caught up in the mainframe and seldom had a say or a voice. But, not today. That has changed. Children can be heard and there is a help for them too, if the parents are willing to choose to get them into the many programs and/or counselors today. Many of the programs are free for children of domestic violence and abuse. (Check with your local Victim Assistance office to see what is available.)
   
• 70% of families in which the mother is being beaten, the children are also physically or sexually abused.
   
• 50% of women in the United States will be assaulted by their partners or sons, at some time in their lives.
   
• 42% of murdered women are killed by their intimate male partners.
   
• 25% of battered women are pregnant.
   
• 8% of High School teenagers are forced to have sex. (This number is probably a lot higher because the teenagers to do not tell anyone, or report it to the proper authorities.)
   
• 40% of girls, ages 14-17 years old, are hit by their boyfriends. (This statistic could also be much higher because a lot of the girls are do not tell anyone, especially a parent or guardian, or they do not report it to the proper authorities.)
   
• The majority of stalking victims are women. Domestic stalking arises out of domestic violence actions.
   
• It is all about “Power and Control” - Get/gain the power; Get/gain the control. (When one tactic does not work, they always come up with another, to turn everything around and put the blame on the victim.)
   
• The question asked is: “Why doesn’t she just leave?” The question should be: “Why does he batter?”
   
• The best excuses for domestic violence that men commit against women are: (Not necessarily ranked in the following order by their number. My thoughts and opinions are included.)
   

1. “I was abused as a child/adult.” Then why in heavens name would you do the same thing to someone you are supposed to honor and love? Why would an abuser not seek help to overcome his abusive behavior in this day and age when there are so many resources available?
    
2. “I just lost it.” Not really. He was in control. He has to know you are not going to leave before he hits you. And if you do leave, he is always sorry and says he will never do it again. A woman can leave up to seven times before he finally has had enough and does it for good.
    
3. “She made me so mad, I lost control.” No he didn’t. He was in control. She just could not take it anymore and she got her control back for even a brief instant and called the police.
    
4. “She is crazy, and she makes me crazy.” Another wonderful tactic. He turns it all around.
    
5. “It was the drugs.” Secondary factor, folks.
    
6. “It was the alcohol.” Another secondary factor. Not the real reason he batters.
    
7. “I had a really bad day at work.” And this is her fault?
    
8. “My car died on the way to work.” And this is her fault?
    
9. “I wrecked my really nice car.” And this is her fault? - Who was driving and in control?
    
10. “She burned supper.” A reason to beat, batter, and abuse?
     
11. “She is a terrible lover.” And how much does he offer of himself to make her happy?
     
12. “She is having an affair.” More than likely he is!
     
13. “She is such a lousy housekeeper.” Does he not live in the same house? Are his arms, fingers, legs broke he can’t help? She is the only one that makes messes?
     
14. “She watches T.V. all day and doesn’t get anything done.” More than likely she is so depressed and just does not have the will or the energy to do anything. Especially if she was up most of the night fighting with him.
     
15. “She is always going somewhere with her loser-friends.” Major jealousy, here. A possible support system for her that he does not want her to have.
     
16. “She wants to get a job.” Yes, to hopefully have some money of her own, because he doesn’t give her any, or spends it on booze and/or drugs.
     
17. “She wants to go back to school.” Yes. And if she does, she might get an education that will take her out of the hole she is in, and make a better life for herself without him. Plus, she might even learn, if she talks to anyone, that he is being violent and abusive. Education is the key!
     
18. “She is always talking back to me. She doesn’t show me any respect. I am the man of the house.” Yes, once in a while she tries to speak up for herself, and I ask you, what respect is he giving her? And the old bible verse that is thrown up to her all the time, “The man is the head of the household.” (Yes, and the other part of that passage from Ephesians 5:21 is the: “And you husbands should love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church.”
     
19. “She is always bitching about something. She really gets on my nerves.” Yes, she wants to make things better for her and/or her children, but is always caught up in the game of trying to please him and take care of his needs. He must always be the center of attention.
     
20. “If I can’t have her, no one will have her.” Usually a statement like this, results in a loss of life for her or the children, or everyone in the family, including himself.
     
21. “If she leaves me, I will commit suicide.” The number one threat they make so she does not leave him and throws the blame and the guilt on her.
     
22. “You can’t leave me, you made a commitment to me to never leave me. Our religion won’t allow it.” Really? Which religion? Does religion want a woman to die at the hands of her batterer for “religious sake?” I believe I would change religions. Plus, my opinion, if someone is a believer in God, do you really think God says, “Okay, my child. Here is a lesson in life you must learn the hard way. If you fix everything, including him, get back to Me.” I don’t think so. I believe we make errors in judgment when we follow our love-struck hearts, and we make choices with our hearts instead of our minds. Victims cannot, or do not want to give up or let go, because victims (women) are natural nurturers and fixers, and it is not in our nature to give up without trying to “fix things.” Besides, I believe God is by our side carrying us through the hard and difficult times. He will never leave us nor forsake us. Read the “Footprints” poem. God gives us the ability to make choices of our own. He may not always agree, but he is there for us, always.)

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