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Emotional abuse is the act of belittling, ignoring,
corrupting, acting cruel, isolating, rejecting, and
scaring another person, which can lead to ultimately
winning control over them. It could come from a parent,
spouse, co-worker, friend, classmate, or caregiver.
Emotional abuse is a form of brainwashing. An extreme
example could be locking a child in a bathroom for hours
as a punishment. An example of abuse that subtly builds
over time could be telling a spouse they are ugly and
useless repeatedly. Emotional abuse slowly eats away at
a victim's self-confidence until they feel they can no
longer trust not only anyone else, but possibly even
themselves, as they lose their sense of self-worth. It
can sometimes be outwardly displayed in a person’s
behavior or it can be something completely hidden, so
emotional abuse is not always easy to spot by the eyes
of an outsider.
A person may be continually yelled at or humiliated
when abused. They may be told they will be hurt or
killed, thus they constantly live in fear for their
life. They may be teased or have confusing
inconsistencies in their life, like when an alcoholic
parent or spouse comes home happy one night and angry
the next. They never know whom they will be dealing
with. Any and all of these events, among others, can
create deep emotional scarring. Often, if treatment is
not provided, a person who has been abused as a child
will continue the cycle as an adult with his or her own
family.
Emotional Child Abuse
Being yelled at is often only the tip of the iceberg
for a child who is consistently emotionally abused. As
children internalize emotionally what is done to them,
their social development is at risk. Their emotional as
well as physical health may be affected. There are many
forms of emotional abuse and all can be equally
detrimental to a child. Even when physical abuse is a
factor, the underlying problems will lie in the
emotional abuse a child suffers. When abuse of any kind
comes from someone who is supposed to be a caregiver and
a part of daily life, it steals from the core of the
child as they feel defeated both mentally and
physically. Emotional abuse is not always recognized,
being written off as some sort of emotional disorder.
Rejecting – A child needs the
acceptance and love of a parent or caregiver. Rejection
is when the caregiver denies a child of this
need. Instead, they make the child feel like they have
no worth. Rejecting usually starts at a very young age,
although it can begin later, usually if the caretaker
has some unsettling change in his or her life. When
babies are rejected, they almost always cannot function
as adults. This was noted in untouched orphaned infants
in the U.S.S.R. years ago. Many of these orphans later
developed syndromes or brain damage that isolated them
permanently. However, rejected children can sometimes
overcome abuse by finding ways to soothe themselves, as
no one has ever done it for them.
Ignoring – As a child grows, they
require interaction. Children need it to develop
intellectually, socially and emotionally. Depriving such
stimulation by ignoring a child is abuse.
Terrorizing – Terrorizing is when a
child is threatened or intimidated. These actions create
fear and stress for a child. Constant terrorizing
becomes an ongoing stressor and can devastate every part
of life. This continual stress can cause their health to
fails. Terrorized children often become susceptible to
disease, mental issues, and anti-social behaviors. A
child can also be terrorized when they witness violence.
Isolating – Taking a child out of
normal experiences and isolating them often coincides
with other forms of emotional abuse. Isolation takes
away from the experience of childhood and the child does
not learn how to build friendships. Preventing a child
from normal social interaction often leads to social
development issues.
Corrupting – If a caregiver is
actively doing or selling drugs, stealing, or some other
socially unacceptable act, one could expect that the
child is learning the behavior. The child is being
raised in an unhealthy environment and suffers because
of it. Corruption is severe when parents openly teach
such actions to there own child, perhaps even rewarding
a child for their participation in activities that are
illegal or harmful. Corrupted children often feel
severely isolated, as they don't see a healthy place for
themselves in society.
Exploiting – Exploitation is a very
severe type of emotional child abuse. Some examples
include a child being blamed for the actions of others,
sent out as a prostitute, used for sexual imagery, or
being given unreasonable responsibilities and work. They
are often the vilest of actions that could be
perpetrated on a child and the effects can be a
life-long psychological battle.
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Safe Child - Sections on observable, behavioral,
and family or parental indicators.
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Teen's Health - Article covers things like teen
abusive relationships, having a healthy relationship
and bullying.
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Girl's Health - Examples of abuse and hotlines
one can call when in trouble.
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This is Abuse - Frequently asked questions and
discussion about how physical abuse usually starts
with verbal and emotional abuse.
Emotional Abuse in Adult Relationships
Emotional abuse is the most prevalent form of abuse.
It is also the most accepted in today’s world. Abuse is
when someone misuses his or her authority or mistreats
someone else. They show no regard or concern for the
individual and they often use words to create an
unstable relationship that leans in their own favor. An
abuser usually likes to have total control of their
victim. They are manipulators and their victims are
ultimately put into a submissive or compliant role,
compelling them to do according to their way of
thinking. Emotional abuse in adult relationships can be
verbal. Some examples include telling a partner they are
worthless, and degrading by name-calling or frequent
negative comments about looks or abilities. Emotional
abuse can also be carried out by ignoring or withholding
love or touch, making the victim feel isolated.
Emotional abuse leave victims with moderate to
serious psychological issues. They may begin to think it
is their fault and that they deserve the way they are
being treated. Victims of abuse often lack confidence
and may even be ashamed. Some feel that the abuse they
suffer is a normal part of life, which is usually due to
the fact that they grew up either seeing or being in a
similar situation as a child. Along with taking place at
home, emotional abuse can also become an issue in the
workplace or with friends. The victim can ultimately
become so accustomed to the emotional abuse that they
begin to disregard personal worth and health. If not
taken care of early enough, this can lead to issues that
progress severely with time.
Aggressing – Aggressive forms of
abuse include blaming, ordering about, threatening,
accusing, criticizing, and name-calling. Aggressing may
also be quite subtle, yet just as judgemental. An abuser
may offer advice or or try to prove they can better
analyze a situation. Using words or actions to show they
are the deciding factor is a way for the abuser to
maintain control. Aggressing is often used to invalidate
the victim and their ideas.
Denying – Denying the emotional
needs of another is abuse, and is often used as a form
of punishment. An abuser will often deny their victim by
not listening or talking to them, acting as if they are
not in the room. Thus, the abuser is able to emotionally
withdraw from the situation and the victim. Another type
of denial is when an abuser denies that they ever used
harsh words or did anything that the victim accused them
of. They will say they recollect no such happening. This
may include the abuser overruling anything the victim
says, thinks, or feels. The result is often the victim’s
reality being shaken. They may no longer rely on their
own judgment or want to trust from personal experience.
Minimizing – Minimizing occurs when
the abuser doesn’t deny what he or she has done.
Instead, they trivialize the incident and make it seem
like the victim is blowing it out of proportion. They
may say things like, “Stop exaggerating,” or “You are
being way to sensitive.” Again, this makes the victim’s
emotions seem exaggerated, faulty, or unimportant to
anyone else, further scarring his or her psyche.
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Emotional Abuse - Pages that cover what
emotional abuse is, the types, characteristics, what
the signs are, basic needs, and more.
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Hidden Hurt - An article titled "The Link
Between Alcohol and an Abusive Personality".
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Emotional And Verbal Abuse - Varying articles
such as "Unsilencing Emotional Abuse" and "Symptoms
of Emotional Abuse", also contains sub categories
and suggested reading materials.
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Counseling Center - University of Illinois
offers descriptions as well as talks about addictive
relationships, being assertive, and loneliness. Also
offers counseling center resources.
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Help Guide - Signs of abuse and abusive
relationships.
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Abuse disorders - The surgeon general talks
about the disorders that can occur from abuse.
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